I Want to Support Someone

Sexual misconduct affects people in different ways – there are no right or wrong ways to react. Below are some tips that can help make your loved one feel supported through this difficult time:

  • Listen – What your loved one is saying may be very difficult for them to tell and upsetting for you to hear. However, it's very important that you show them you are listening and hearing them. As they speak, try not to interrupt, even if you have a lot of questions – they might not be ready to share all of the details. In fact, they may not feel ready to share any particulars at all. Let your loved one know that you will be ready to listen when they are ready to talk.
  • Avoid judgment – It may be very hard for your loved one to share what happened, which is one of the reasons why it takes some people a very long time to tell anyone. There is no time limit on their feelings, so try not to judge their decisions, even if they are not what you would have done in the situation.
  • Let them know you care – Allow your loved one the space to both ask for help and speak for themselves. To be sure that you are supporting them in the best way possible, ask them. Gently remind them that you have their best interest in mind and want to support them in a way that makes them comfortable. Ask them if you can help contact resources or supports.

Helpful Phrases

  • Thank you for trusting me.
  • Thank you for telling me – I know it was hard/took courage.
  • I'm sorry that happened to you.
  • What can I do to help?
  • You didn't do anything to deserve this.
  • You are not alone.
  • This must be really tough for you.
  • I'm sorry this happened.
  • I care about you and want to help in any way I can.

Unhelpful Phrases

  • Why were you alone?
  • What were you wearing?
  • You're lucky you weren't killed!
  • You shouldn't have…
  • I know how you feel.
  • Did you scream?
  • Why didn't you just fight back?

You may be feeling a lot of emotions as well, like anger or sadness. However, it's best to let your loved one be in control of the conversation and what comes next. They may or may not want to report the incident. Let them know their options, such as going to the hospital to preserve evidence in case they want it later, but respect their decision if they decline.

Parents & Families

We understand how difficult it may be for parents and family members to hear that a loved one has experienced an act of sexual misconduct. With that in mind, you can imagine how difficult it could have been for them to share that with you. Some conversations may make you uncomfortable as discussions regarding sexual activity will arise but please do your best to remain receptive to all and any conversation. If your loved one seems to be opening up to friends or other individuals more, do not take this personally and remain prepared to discuss the incident as they feel necessary.

Witnesses

If you witness an act of sexual misconduct or are the first person to interact with either the victim or accused, the most important thing is to ensure your safety and the safety of everyone involved. Intervene only in situations where it is safe to do so. If you have been injured, seek medical attention. Regardless of your ability to intervene, you are strongly encouraged to call Public Safety (610-436-3311) for assistance. To the extent that you are able, direct the injured to medical care.

If you have witnessed an act of sexual misconduct we encourage you to fill out our sexual misconduct report form.

Faculty & Staff

Depending on your role on campus, you may experience a sexual misconduct disclosure by a student or colleague. To best support those who have disclosed to you, familiarize yourself with campus resources and policies, as well as your Title IX reporting obligations.

An important part in supporting a student is to let them know about policies (like Title IX) that may require you to report the incident. Remember the policies that you need to abide by and be as open with the student as possible. It may be difficult for you to report but the policies are there for the well-being of the student and the overall campus climate. Please see our WCU employee FAQ page for further details.

Prevention & Training

The Center for Women and Gender Equity (CWGE) coordinates campus wide violence prevention initiatives designed to engage all members of the University community, offers opportunities to examine the ways in which gender-based oppression intersects with other forms of systemic oppression, and provides support and resources for individuals impacted by harm. CWGE also facilitates Step Up! a prosocial behavior and bystander intervention program that educates students to be proactive in helping others.

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